A Can of Peaches
by White Silence
Summary: Five times River hit Jayne with a can of peaches. Written to help raise awareness of US food banks' shortage of food donations.
1. Stupid

Author's Note: I wrote these to help raise awareness of US food banks' shortage of food donations. You can find out more by visiting National Public Radio's website and searching for "food donation shortage. You can also find a food bank near you by visiting America's Second Harvest's website. Please note, I am not affiliated with NPR or Second Harvest in anyway. Just trying to encourage people to donate food. :D

If you like the fic, donate food!

**I. STUPID**

The first time River hit Jayne with a can of peaches he'd been stupid. Just because Mal had cuffed her with the heaviest restraints made by man, he'd expected her to still be in said restraints when he opened the pantry door. Just goes to show what they knew.

When he woke up, he growled at Kaylee and stalked over to the freezer to grab the bag of frozen grapes he'd used on his groin earlier. As he headed up to the bridge, he swore he wouldn't make the mistake of underestimating the crazy killer woman for a third time.


	2. Technically

Author's Note: I wrote these to help raise awareness of US food banks' shortage of food donations. You can find out more by visiting National Public Radio's website and searching for "food donation shortage. You can also find a food bank near you by visiting America's Second Harvest's website. Please note, I am not affiliated with NPR or Second Harvest in anyway. Just trying to encourage people to donate food. :D

If you like the fic, donate food!

**II. TECHNICALLY **

The second time River hit him with a can of peaches he'd just finished his workout for the day. He was wiping the sweat off his face and trying to ignore the two giggling girls racing around the cargo bay when he was suddenly deluged with syrup and peach halves followed by a can bouncing off his shoulder and across the floor. They ran off shrieking with laughter.

He guessed it was technically Kaylee that dropped the can on him but since River was the one who'd been chasing her across the catwalk, he put it on her tab anyway.


	3. Blue

Author's Note: I wrote these to help raise awareness of US food banks' shortage of food donations. You can find out more by visiting National Public Radio's website and searching for "food donation shortage". You can also find a food bank near you by visiting America's Second Harvest's website. Please note, I am not affiliated with NPR or Second Harvest in anyway. Just trying to encourage people to donate food. :D

If you like the fic, donate food!

**III. BLUE**

The third time River hit him with a can of peaches she'd been stowing supplies in the pantry with Kaylee. Something set her off and all of a sudden she was flipping out, scattering the protein packs, crying some _gou shi_ about hands of blue. He'd run to the kitchen when he heard the commotion but soon as he set foot in the pantry, he was laid out flat by a flying can to his gut.

When Simon stepped over his dry heaving self to give River a smoother, Jayne decided this was the last time he helped Simon out.

_Gou shi_ – dog shit


	4. Miss

**IV. MISS**

The fourth time River hit him with a can of peaches was more of a miss. He'd been walking into the galley when he got the feeling there was trouble up ahead. Jayne stopped dead in his tracks but the can still landed on the top of his foot, missing the steel toe of his boot by millimeters. She'd been lying in wait with her legs braced across the top of the cupboards on either side of the doorway.

Good thing he'd stopped or he'd have gotten the can to his head again, he thought as he limped away cussing.


	5. Full

**V. FULL**

The fifth time River hit him with a can of peaches they were hauling a whole shipment of them to Boros. The trip should've been long and boring. Instead, they ran into the remains of a blown up freighter and after all their fancy maneuvering, discovered the cargo netting needed replacing. Everyone helped gather the scattered cans and stack them back on the shipping pallets. He turned when he heard River calling his name and got a face full of aluminum.

At least this time she looked appropriately sorry and didn't laugh while he had gauze shoved up his nose.


End file.
